I apologize if this picture or this post offends anyone. My goal for this blog is to document my journey through this difficult time and to journal God's faithfullness - that includes the days my weakness wins.
So today is not a good day so far. I don't know why, but I do know it isn't because God has left me. I just hurt today. The irony that this post comes right after a post about progress is not lost on me. Today I just feel like crying. I want so desperately to be filled with joy - His joy. I think there is a difference between happiness and joy, but today my brain won't wrap around the concept...it is right there, floating near the surface. I think maybe joy comes from within and is God-provided while happiness is something we try to attain through worldly possessions and relationships. If you have thoughts on this, I would like to hear from you.
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40: 1-3
Today I'm hurting, and I'm going to give myself permission to do just that.
*HUG* I love you so much Mom. It hurts me to know you are hurting. I wish I could wave a magic wand and everything will be better. That being said, you know I can't do anything but pray and tell you how much I love you. You are an amazing woman and I'm soooo proud to have you as my Mom.
ReplyDeleteChickens!!! :-D
ReplyDeleteHugs, Love, and tears for you. Kelly is right, you are an amazing woman. I have told you this before, but it is true. I have known it since I brought you food after Kasey was born. I only knew you from seeing you in Sunday School, but I drove away from that visit thinking.... that is one really neat girl. I would love for her to be my friend. Thanks for sharing your heart, and thanks for being such a wonderful friend for all of these years. It is so evident that God is holding you in his arms, and he has "plans" for you!
ReplyDeleteCarla, I am sorry you are hurting, but I know that these times make us stronger and that God is burning your straw and wheat to leave the pure gold. I love you and I am sending to you a great big hug and a flock of chickens. Or is that a gaggle of chickens? A herd of chickens? I'll just say a bunch of chickens with the Elvis feathers on their head. Hang in there. You are going to come out of this even stronger.
ReplyDeleteCindy,
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'm sure it is flock of chickens, I like the sound of gaggle...
I know which chickens you're talking about! I just can't remember, are they the ones with the feather "leggings" too? I love those!
It has already been a better day. I drive to Rockwall tomorrow morning to meet John and Marilee Babler. I am so thankful they called when they did.