The Graduate

My Youngest daughter, Kasey, graduated from Texas Tech this past Saturday. She, like her sister before her, was a 3 year graduate. Pretty amazing considering it takes most students 4+ years to get their bachelor. Because of the circumstances with her Dad, Kasey decided not to walk across stage to get her diploma. It was a decision that killed me, but I also knew it was her decision, not mine.

Since she didn't get to experience all the 'pomp and circumstance' around her graduation we decided to have a party for her with family and friends on the day she would have graduated. It was the best time we've had at this house. The friends and family were so generous, the feeling was very relaxed, the food was great, and the love was palpable.

So this is the story of my life right now I'm trying to figure out how to divide 26 years of marriage, protecting my girls from a man who is bent on destruction and doesn't even realize it yet, and seeking God with all my heart, soul, and mind - especially since each of those parts of me is breaking.

So what does my verse say to me about this situation? Well it starts out hard, "I will be patient as the Lord punishes me, for I have sinned against him." Haven't we all sinned against our God. My particular sin was disobedience. I always felt I could handle my life without needing to bother God. Oh sure, I would pray when there was a sickness, or a big decision, but to seek God's face daily - to live as if I were created just to honor him, I didn't do. I have asked for and received forgiveness. But going on, the next part says, "But after that, he will take up my case and give me justice for all I have suffered from my enemies." This takes on particular meaning as our temporary hearing comes up within a week and all parties involved feel like this will go to trial. My blood pressure goes up when I start thinking about all I have to do in order to make my case. It creates such stress! But right here it says He will take up my case, He will provide me justice. What a relief! It isn't in my hands! I don't have to think of all the contingencies in order to protect myself. I will carefully prepare myself and then leave the justice to my powerful heavenly Father.

If you read this post earlier, you may notice I changed it. I felt convicted over the things I wrote about my husband so I've removed those sections. My goal for this blog is not to cut anyone down, nor do I want to cause my daughters more pain. My desire is to glorify my heavenly Father in what I say, do, and write. Please pray for me as I struggle to be obedient. Please lift me up as I go through this horrible, hurtful time.